So, I went to BJ's tonight. The service had two forks an a knife. No spoon.

When I was a kid, I always used to play with the silverware... Spoon was a girl, fork was a good guy who loved her, and the knife was the bad guy. He'd always trick her into being with him and the fork would have to save her. The fork and the knife always fought.

Tonight, I had no spoon. I had two forks. This is perfectly normal in restaurants, so why I thought what I thought I have no idea.

These thoughts crossed my mind before I had any real conscious control over them:

"No spoon- so where's the girl? I guess they're gay forks. It's like a Brokeback Mountain for forks..."

And then I was like "What the hell did I just think?!" And started cracking up. Everyone at the table was like, "What's so funny?"
And I replied, "I have two forks."